Wednesday, November 12, 2008
you told me you love me... you lay with her.. her hands upon you and more, because you wanted... but you told me you love me !!!
to you, it was not a sin.. in your mind there was nothing to forgive.. in mine - "i trust you" because you told me you love me !!!
your decision slashed a gaping, bleeding wound.. i could not sleep the night after you told me, but i love you for your honesty... the questions kept coming......... Because you told me you love me !!
THE TEARS WOULD NOT STOP....
BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME !!!!!!!! :'(
i asked myself if i truly love you.. the answer is "YES" !! i asked if i understood you.. the answer is "i have to if love is to survive".. i asked if i could still trust you.. the answer is "YES" !!
BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (T_T)
so i put myself in your place.. despite the pain, despite the blood, despite myself.. BECAUSE WHAT IS LOVE IF YOU CANNOT GIVE AND UNDERSTAND !!!! SO I GAVE AND UNDERSTOOD.. AND FORGAVE !!
to forgive is supposed to be divine.. i'm not a GOD !!
but if i cannot forgive.. i am not HUMAN !!!
BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME !!!
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU !!!
though you thought.. it is not a matter to be forgiven.. if i did not forgive.. if i did not understand.. love would have been killed.. there was no option.. not if i believe in love.. not if i believe in you..
you killed "THE TRUST".. but that was my trust, not yours.. not once did you kill.. but again.. and again.. and again i bore the unbearable pain that tried my soul.. BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME !!!
deep down in my heart, i still trust you.. I BELIEVE IN YOU.. i believe in your heart.. i believe you were not deep down lying to me.. WHEN YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME !!!!!!
the tears still come till now, unbidden, and unseen by you.. but the love i have for you has not died !!
i'm glad i forgave you.. glad that we are still together.. that i made the effort to understand you.. that we can smile and laugh together...
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU..... BECAUSE YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME...... nothing can be killed !! I BELIEVE...........
to you, it was not a sin.. in your mind there was nothing to forgive.. in mine - "i trust you" because you told me you love me !!!
your decision slashed a gaping, bleeding wound.. i could not sleep the night after you told me, but i love you for your honesty... the questions kept coming......... Because you told me you love me !!
THE TEARS WOULD NOT STOP....
BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME !!!!!!!! :'(
i asked myself if i truly love you.. the answer is "YES" !! i asked if i understood you.. the answer is "i have to if love is to survive".. i asked if i could still trust you.. the answer is "YES" !!
BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (T_T)
so i put myself in your place.. despite the pain, despite the blood, despite myself.. BECAUSE WHAT IS LOVE IF YOU CANNOT GIVE AND UNDERSTAND !!!! SO I GAVE AND UNDERSTOOD.. AND FORGAVE !!
to forgive is supposed to be divine.. i'm not a GOD !!
but if i cannot forgive.. i am not HUMAN !!!
BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME !!!
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU !!!
though you thought.. it is not a matter to be forgiven.. if i did not forgive.. if i did not understand.. love would have been killed.. there was no option.. not if i believe in love.. not if i believe in you..
you killed "THE TRUST".. but that was my trust, not yours.. not once did you kill.. but again.. and again.. and again i bore the unbearable pain that tried my soul.. BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME !!!
deep down in my heart, i still trust you.. I BELIEVE IN YOU.. i believe in your heart.. i believe you were not deep down lying to me.. WHEN YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME !!!!!!
the tears still come till now, unbidden, and unseen by you.. but the love i have for you has not died !!
i'm glad i forgave you.. glad that we are still together.. that i made the effort to understand you.. that we can smile and laugh together...
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU..... BECAUSE YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME...... nothing can be killed !! I BELIEVE...........
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there's something else beside take and give and understand for each other in love, and it is the based for three of them..
it is sincerely,
maybe..
that's why you keep gave him a forgiveness...
all the things you had done to him nor it makes you smile or cry, even when you suffered for him, you did that with a sincerely,
not because for him, not because for you.. but for what you both build for a long time in the name of love, and i believe its strong enough to be crushed by anythings...
i'm sorry if there's a mistaken in my opinion, thats only because im stupid
i know you knew bout it a lot more than me, and you are one of the superwomen friends ive ever met, thats why i knew your gonna be the one with a happy smile on your face at the end of the problem beib =)
kita emang ga kenal tp gw ngikutin blog loe & selalu baca tiap ada kesempatan. selama ini gw ga pernah komen & hanya baca" aja. buat gw blog loe membuat gw ktawa" kl lg bete. but there's something in what you said in this post makes me wanna enlighten you a bit.
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.....
BECAUSE YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME......
nothing can be killed !!"
I wish I can tell you love will conquer all
I wish I can show you love will find the way
but the reality is much more than love it self
cause I've been there done that
I FOUGHT TO BE WITH YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
BUT YOU'VE CURED ME OF THAT
the exact sentence I used when I had my 'enough' moment. the same sentence I keep telling my self over & over again, whenever I felt like wanting him again in my life. if he loves me, he would never slept with someone else. if he loves me, he would never lied to my face. as simple as that..
we were together for 4 years & for 4 years I kept telling my self he loves me, love will win. and somehow, it hit me in the face one day. was I a relationship machosist? did I really enjoy the pleasure of being the victim & being hurt by someone I love so dearly?
ki,
I do hope you make the right decision, because you are so young & your future is wide open. don't get stuck like I was before..
for whatever it is you're going for,
I will keep on reading this blog of yours
cheer up ya sayang,
the sun still shines for us to be brave
=D
dimitrii nuno : makasi ya sayang ;) yes i was stupid in that time... then suddenly "boom" !! hehehe...
thanks guys :)